the single life in Philadelphia

My best friend gks loves it when I go on dates. Usually because something bizarre and hilarious happens and he can laugh at me. Top 3 oddest dating experiences so far:


3) Not even a real date but still weird. I asked out a guy I knew slightly from school via email since I didn't have his number. He replied no because although he thought I was "super cute" he was "seeing someone," but he said we should definitely grab a drink and hang out sometime :) (his smiley face not mine). I thought that was a rather nice way of turning someone down. However, the next two times I saw him he would chase me down and emphasize going for a drink. Then he sent me an email saying he missed getting emails from me and arranged a time to get a drink with me.

At this point, I thought perhaps he was not really serious with the girl he was seeing, or that he was gay and wanted a friend. An hour before we were supposed to meet, he called me and said that he just told his girlfriend he was getting a drink with me and, for some reason, she wasn't cool with the idea. Then he said he felt bad and asked me if I wanted to go for a quick walk. I said that I was fine without the walk.

You would think the story would be over at this point, but the next day this guy emailed me to explain the errors I had made in dating etiquette. According to him, you are supposed to assume every guy you meet has a girlfriend. You are then to ask him for a drink as friends and use that opportunity to ascertain if he does in fact have a girlfriend. If he does not, you may ask him on a date. He then added that he loved and respected his girlfriend very much. This email was about four paragraphs long, and I had to wonder how a guy who didn't realize that going for a drink with another girl would upset his girlfriend knew so much about the subtleties of dating.

2) Another story involving suggestion of a walk. A fellow grad student asked for my number, which I gave him. He called me, chatted for about an hour, and asked if I wanted to go on a walk after work one day. Now, maybe I'm too sensitive, but I couldn't help feeling a little hurt that a guy could have so little interest in me that he wouldn't even spring for lunch or coffee. But I was a bit of an idiot back then and he was kind of cute, so I agreed. We actually had a nice walk around the city for about two hours with pretty interesting conversation. I thought it was going well until, instead of walking me home, he walked me to the corner of my block, told me he had a nice time, and shook my hand. That seemed like a brush-off to me, but the next day he made a point of coming to find me at work and telling me what a great time he had. Then he never called me again.

1) The best story involving a walk that turned out not to be a walk. This incident actually happened right after 2). I had been out with this law student a couple of times. We got along great but it felt more like friendship than anything else. Then one day he called me and asked me out again. I said yes and asked him what he had in mind. He asked me how I felt about a walk. Mentally, I said "oh god, another walk." Outloud, I said "gee, a walk, that sounds nice." Then he said "well, not so much as a walk as a photoscavenger hunt." I didn't really know what that meant, but he explained that we would go around the city and try to find certain things to take photos of. The whole thing sounded a little dubious to me but I had already agreed.

I met up with him in Rittenhouse Square. He gave me a hug, took out his camera, and asked me where my list was. Apparently, I was supposed to have come up with a list of things for him to find and photograph. Since I had missed this point, he suggested we grab dinner and decide what to do.

At dinner, I got to look at the list of photoscavenger items he had made for me. Some of it was pretty normal: a menu, a particular sign, a person with certain features. Then at the end were things like "an aphrodiasac" and "naughty-but-nice." At this point, I began to feel a bit uncomfortable. When the check came, I offered to pay half and ran for the nearest cab. He also never called me again.


I would have thought having such bizarre and sort of horrific dates would be discouraging, but I am not discouraged. They make great stories to tell your friends. They make you appreciate the good, semi-normal men out there (or I hope to god are out there). I think it's emblematic of life in this city. The thing about Philly: the people are crazy and usually rude, the city is incredibly dirty and crime-ridden, and the government is corrupt and incompetent, and I am well-aware of all this. But the city gets under your skin and I love it here anyway.