Wednesday, November 28, 2007

The Greatest Show on Earth

Last night was the finale of the hit TV show "Dancing with the Stars." I love bad television, and "Dancing with the Stars" is bad television at its cheesiest, intelligence-insulting baddest. This season featured "stars" like Scary Spice, Kelly from 90210, and Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman. No idea who any of the male stars were - even after they showed all their life story montages. Seriously, who were those guys?

Monday night was the final dances for the 3 remaining couples and last night was the results show, which lasted like 5 hours and brought back every loser who had been kicked off in the previous weeks. The highlights:
  • Celine Dion. Singing live in the studio. Singing "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic. While professional ballroom dancers twirled. Then she swept a deep curtsey and wiped away a tear. It was so awesome.
  • Some guy from a soap opera danced a bull-fighting dance to the Superman theme while continually losing parts of his shirt. At the end, he just ripped off what remained of it and stood bare-chested with his rippling abs. This set off a cascade of the other male stars taking off their shirts, and there would have been pants removal had they not cut to commercial.
  • Marie Osmond didn't win. She bothers me on a number of levels. During the competition, her father died on the morning of one of the show tapings. Then she danced on the celebrity dance show anyway - albeit in a sequined gown that was black. Then this other week she fainted, which shouldn't have been hilarious, but it totally was. Then, for her final dance, she dressed like a life-size doll and tried to peddle the china dolls she sells on QVC.

I don't actually know who won because I only watched about 20 minutes out of the 5 hours. What I did see was reality television genius. Well, not genius, but worth a reasonably good laugh and a head shake.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'd rather have watched that than A Shot of Love. The roommate that I heart and I banished our deranged daughter to my bedroom so we didn't have to be subjected to that trash.

JLR said...

A Shot of Love is so boring. You should watch I Love New York. It's the craziest show.

Liney said...

I'm a huge fan of some crappy tv, but dancing with the stars? I'm not capable of sitting through the whole hour, so I just get the highlights from Best Week Ever. I love New York? I sit through every second of it and even watch the reruns!